- Jay, as the opening line to an explanation of a proposed deal:
To you, this is going to sound completely unfair
I'll give you one pink property for $1500, three railroads, and waterworks. Pavlov:
monopoly doesn't involve *that* much skill... - Blake, before the game.
I come bringing Vaseline. - Claudius.
Hi. The name is dick. - Ian.
See, I know you won't be anal. As anal. - Pavlov.
He's trying to dick me, that's what he's trying to do. - Jason.
I know about getting dicked! - Dan.
No doubles no doubl-- FUCK! - Ian.
Oh, gee! People being dicks! What an idea! - Pavlov.
If you fall... Jay:
I'm gonna try not to.
Why hasn't his happened before? Claudius:
Because no one has been ruthless enough to dick people like they should do!
I like hairy ass. - Dan
- Claudius knocks over some of Pavlov's houses. Pavlov screams:
You're going to jail, bitch! Claudius throws the dice... and lands on Go To Jail!
Where am I going to get the houses?!
When I go bankrupt! - Claudius and Jay during heated negotiations.
How much did you roll?
40?! - Claudius and Dan, during a small amount of confusion about landing on the Water Utility.
I'm hearing through this ear, but you're running out of time... - Claudius to Jay while doing another deal with Dan...
Didn't you just give me $450?!
Yes, it's those houses.
Oh, that's it? - Claudius and Dan.
I'll sit down now. - Jason, after preaching the rules.
It must be the home board advantage... - Claudius, depressed, and musing about why Jay was winning so much.
Geez, regular jail is easier to get out of. - Jason, also depressed, and complaining about the stringent jail rules.
I need a fucking MBA to play with you guys!!! - Claudius, nearly crying.
One of us is going to get screwed, now lets decide who. - Ian, wanting to get the game moving.
Who here is not a dick? - Claudius, asking honestly.